vulnerability= hurt

Isn’t that what we see in our minds when we think of vulnerability? Trust me you’re talking to an expert that knows too much about that combination. I do mean experiential not just expert knowledge. I cannot tell you how fearful I have been to let down my guard many times. I’m sure I’ve missed out on potentially great friendships or business relationships, simply because I wouldn’t let anyone in. Something had to change within me. Can you relate?

How often do we desire the need to find just that ONE somebody who we can confide or trust in? We desire it often and truth is we need it often. However, when trusting the “wrong” person to share our deepest pains or secrets goes awry, we are left with the emotional bruising that no one can see unless we roll up our emotional sleeves to see the dark marks the experience has left on us. Here are 4 principles we can do to assure that we trust the right people to handle the very treasures of our being:

1. Pray- Ask God to show you who you can and cannot trust. You know that “feeling” you get when you get around certain people? That’s called discernment. The Holy Spirit gives us the ability to discern what or who is true or not. He will lead us into ALL truth. Discern if that person is truly a person of character. Do they talk to you about other people ALL the time? Hmm. Chances are when you’re not around; your name will roll right off their tongue as well. (Read John 16:13)

2. Ask God to Heal Your Heart- In order for us to experience trust again, we need to make sure we have healed from our past experience. You can’t allow anything “new” in your life if your “old” hurts still exist. God is a healer and will continue His healing work in your life to make those emotional bruises disappear. Continue to cast your cares and pains onto Him. (Read Luke 5:37 & 1 Peter 5:7)

3. Find a TRUSTING Person You Can Talk To- As a counselor and life coach I’m obligated to the confidentiality of my clients. Divulging any of their personal information could mean a dissolution to my career and my name. Again, pray and ask God to reveal to you who you can trust, even if it’s not a professional relationship. Trust me; God knows WHO we need and WHAT we need to hear from a SPECIFIC person. Why? It’s because your situation is special and unique, so “not just anybody will do.” Someone specific will be sent your way. Just ask! (Read Luke 11:9)

4. See Vulnerability as Something Beautiful- I know how difficult this can be, especially for women. We openly express our emotions and we need someone to understand and be patient with how we were created. We can equate vulnerability to “weakness” when in actuality it’s your strength. It is what makes you feminine, beautiful, and graceful. However, vulnerability is not just designated for women. Men need it just as much. Strong men need to find that person they can also be vulnerable with as well. It is replenishing and strengthens him every day to tackle the wars of his daily life. In conclusion, we can perceive vulnerability as something beautiful when we can learn how to trust God. (Read Psalm 62:8)

By applying these few practical principles in your life I promise it can make all the difference in the world. Just remember it is a PROCESS and your perception of vulnerability may not be something that can easily be changed overnight, but if you’re ready to Discover a #NewU you will begin to see the change in your mind that looks like this:

“VULNNERABILTY = BEAUTY & STRENGTH!”