Thursday, 27 October 2016
Thursday, 1 September 2016
Saturday, 27 August 2016
Sunday, 7 August 2016
Tuesday, 3 March 2015
13 HABITS OF HUMBLE PEOPLE
BY Jeff boss
Humble people can receive a bad rap. Humility is
frequently associated with being too passive,
submissive or insecure, but this couldn’t be any
further from the truth.
Instead, humble people are quite the opposite—
confident and competent in themselves so much
that, as a result, they seek to self-actualize by
helping theirs. Humble people are still self-
efficacious; they just don’t feel the impetus to
boast about themselves but instead, let their
actions speak for their ideals. To be humble is not
to think less of oneself, but to think of oneself less.
To help identify what humble looks like (and how
you can adopt greater humility for yourself. After
all, who doesn’t need greater humility?), here are
13 habits of humble people:
They’re Situationally Aware
Situational awareness is a function of emotional
intelligence as it is being aware of oneself, the
group, the actions of each and the social dynamics
therein. As such, situationally aware people aim
their focus outward as they try to absorb (i.e.
learn) more about the situation
They Retain Relationships
Studies have shown that humble people are more
likely to help friends than their prideful
counterparts. As a result, they maintain stronger
personal and professional relationships. A study of
more than 1,000 people—with roughly 200 in
leadership positions—revealed that companies with
humble people in leadership positions had a more
engaged workforce and less employee turnover.
They Make Difficult Decisions With Ease
Since humble people put others’ needs before their
own, when faced with difficult decisions they
respect the moral and ethical boundaries that
govern the decision and base their decision-making
criteria off a sense of shared purpose rather than
self-interest.
They Put Others First
Humble people know their self-worth. As a result,
they don’t feel the need to cast themselves before
others just to show them how much they know.
Instead, humble people realize that nobody cares
how much they know until those people know how
much they’re cared for.
Humility is the true key to success. Successful
people lose their way at times. They often embrace
and overindulge from the fruits of success.
Humility halts this arrogance and self-indulging
trap. Humble people share the credit and wealth,
remaining focused and hungry to continue the
journey of success.
They Listen
There’s nothing more annoying that being in a
conversation with somebody who you can just tell
is dying to get his or her words in. When you see
their mental gears spinning, it’s a sign they’re not
listening but rather waiting to speak. Why?
Because they believe that what they have to say is
more valuable than listening to you. In other
words, they’re placing their self-interest first.
Humble people, however, actively listen to others
before summarizing the conversation. Moreover,
humble people don’t try to dominate a
conversation or talk over people. They’re eager to
understand others because they’re curious.
Speaking of which…
They’re Curious
Humble people seek knowledge because they are
perpetual learners and realize that they don’t have
all the answers. They glean knowledge from the
experiences of others and crave more opportunities
to learn.
They Speak Their Minds
While active listening is certainly important, humble
people aren’t afraid to speak their minds because
being wrong is not a fear they have. They know
that to bridge the gap between unwillingness and
willingness there must be action; they summon the
courage to face difficulty as they graciously accept
to sacrifice themselves.
They Take Time To Say “Thank You”
At a business dinner, for example, no matter
whether you’re engaged in a heated conversation
with others or not, humble people take the time to
express thanks to the service for tending to the
little things.
They Have An Abundance Mentality
Humble people don’t believe that one person’s
“win” necessarily mean another person’s “loss.”
Instead, they know there’s plenty of opportunity to
go around and that finding it just necessitates
collaboration and communication.
They Start Sentences With “You” Rather Than “I”
Humble people put others at the forefront of their
thoughts. Humble people brag about others, while
the prideful people brag about themselves.
They Accept Feedback
Humble people are not only receptive to
constructive criticism but actively seek it because
they know that feedback is a pathway to
improvement.
They Assume Responsibility
Rather than eschewing blame on “the system” or
the behaviors of others, humble people assume
responsibility by speaking up and owning their
part.
They Ask For Help
Part of being humble means realizing that you
don’t have all the answers. No one does. Humble
people acknowledge what they do and do not know
and enlist help for the latter.
Humility displays a willingness to learn and
become better–two things that everybody should
cultivate. # behumble
Humble people can receive a bad rap. Humility is
frequently associated with being too passive,
submissive or insecure, but this couldn’t be any
further from the truth.
Instead, humble people are quite the opposite—
confident and competent in themselves so much
that, as a result, they seek to self-actualize by
helping theirs. Humble people are still self-
efficacious; they just don’t feel the impetus to
boast about themselves but instead, let their
actions speak for their ideals. To be humble is not
to think less of oneself, but to think of oneself less.
To help identify what humble looks like (and how
you can adopt greater humility for yourself. After
all, who doesn’t need greater humility?), here are
13 habits of humble people:
They’re Situationally Aware
Situational awareness is a function of emotional
intelligence as it is being aware of oneself, the
group, the actions of each and the social dynamics
therein. As such, situationally aware people aim
their focus outward as they try to absorb (i.e.
learn) more about the situation
They Retain Relationships
Studies have shown that humble people are more
likely to help friends than their prideful
counterparts. As a result, they maintain stronger
personal and professional relationships. A study of
more than 1,000 people—with roughly 200 in
leadership positions—revealed that companies with
humble people in leadership positions had a more
engaged workforce and less employee turnover.
They Make Difficult Decisions With Ease
Since humble people put others’ needs before their
own, when faced with difficult decisions they
respect the moral and ethical boundaries that
govern the decision and base their decision-making
criteria off a sense of shared purpose rather than
self-interest.
They Put Others First
Humble people know their self-worth. As a result,
they don’t feel the need to cast themselves before
others just to show them how much they know.
Instead, humble people realize that nobody cares
how much they know until those people know how
much they’re cared for.
Humility is the true key to success. Successful
people lose their way at times. They often embrace
and overindulge from the fruits of success.
Humility halts this arrogance and self-indulging
trap. Humble people share the credit and wealth,
remaining focused and hungry to continue the
journey of success.
They Listen
There’s nothing more annoying that being in a
conversation with somebody who you can just tell
is dying to get his or her words in. When you see
their mental gears spinning, it’s a sign they’re not
listening but rather waiting to speak. Why?
Because they believe that what they have to say is
more valuable than listening to you. In other
words, they’re placing their self-interest first.
Humble people, however, actively listen to others
before summarizing the conversation. Moreover,
humble people don’t try to dominate a
conversation or talk over people. They’re eager to
understand others because they’re curious.
Speaking of which…
They’re Curious
Humble people seek knowledge because they are
perpetual learners and realize that they don’t have
all the answers. They glean knowledge from the
experiences of others and crave more opportunities
to learn.
They Speak Their Minds
While active listening is certainly important, humble
people aren’t afraid to speak their minds because
being wrong is not a fear they have. They know
that to bridge the gap between unwillingness and
willingness there must be action; they summon the
courage to face difficulty as they graciously accept
to sacrifice themselves.
They Take Time To Say “Thank You”
At a business dinner, for example, no matter
whether you’re engaged in a heated conversation
with others or not, humble people take the time to
express thanks to the service for tending to the
little things.
They Have An Abundance Mentality
Humble people don’t believe that one person’s
“win” necessarily mean another person’s “loss.”
Instead, they know there’s plenty of opportunity to
go around and that finding it just necessitates
collaboration and communication.
They Start Sentences With “You” Rather Than “I”
Humble people put others at the forefront of their
thoughts. Humble people brag about others, while
the prideful people brag about themselves.
They Accept Feedback
Humble people are not only receptive to
constructive criticism but actively seek it because
they know that feedback is a pathway to
improvement.
They Assume Responsibility
Rather than eschewing blame on “the system” or
the behaviors of others, humble people assume
responsibility by speaking up and owning their
part.
They Ask For Help
Part of being humble means realizing that you
don’t have all the answers. No one does. Humble
people acknowledge what they do and do not know
and enlist help for the latter.
Humility displays a willingness to learn and
become better–two things that everybody should
cultivate. # behumble
Saturday, 28 February 2015
HOW THE LAW OF ATTRACTION COMPLETES YOUR CIRCLE OF LIFE
FROM #BELIMITLESS
The law of attraction is a very insightful law by which to live. In other words, your ability to become intuitive will skyrocket if you attract what you want in life, especially what you dream of.
Do you dream of traveling the world? Do you dream of writing a book? Do you dream of opening up your very own business?
Everyone has unique dreams that differ from one another, but whatever that dream may be, it’s completely possible. Spread your wings. Search for your purpose and freedom in this life. Most importantly, be as real as they come. Demonstrate to others that life isn’t all that tough if we come to understand how lucky we are to be alive in this beautiful world, where miracles take place every day.
All it takes is grasping on to our fullest potential to do what we love, holding it closely and never letting it go.
Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves, they’re gonna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period. – Will Smith, “Pursuit of Happyness”
Here are 30 ways to help you attract what you truly dream of in life:
1. Be positive. Walk around with the most positive attitude possible, so positive people don’t know what to think. When you speak, do it with good intentions. Attract positive thoughts no matter what you’re going through. The more positivity you have in your life, the less negativity exists.
2. Be grateful; appreciate everything. There’s nothing in this world we shouldn’t be grateful for. Be grateful for your family. Be grateful for your friends. Be grateful for a home. Be grateful for food to eat. Be grateful for adventure.
Some people aren’t fortunate enough to have any of these things. Some of us start with absolutely nothing. Don’t take anything for granted.
3. Believe in your own dreams. Attract what you dream of because once your dreams come true, life turns into an endless miracle. Anything and everything you need or want is out there. Just believe you, without question, have what it takes.
4. Follow your intuition. You are the only one who has control over what goes on in your mind. If something feels so right, it’s probably something you should do. If you have urges, listen to them carefully. In a sense, be willing to let your intuition guide you.
5. Follow your heart with courage. The law of attraction has everything to do with following your heart. Even if following your heart leads to heartache, meet heartache with courage. Courage gives you strength. Don’t let the influence of others bring you down. Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed and don’t forget to support them during their journeys, as well.
6. Listen to your gut instinct. We’ve always been told our gut instinct is usually right. Whether it’s right or wrong, our gut can usually sense something is a little wobbly. Pay attention to this feeling and be mindful of it. There are very greedy people in this world, which is why it’s important to always be on our toe.
7. Give to others and help others. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. We’ve all heard this statement, haven’t we? Attract to yourself the way you want to be treated by equally treating others with kindness. It creates a world filled with virtuous karma.
8. Travel to be inspired on a whole new level.Traveling is hands-down one of my top and most important priorities in life. Every time I travel, I am immensely exposed to a whole different part of the world I previously knew nothing about. When we see new places, we gain new perspectives and new perspectives are always a wonderful addition to the way we live our lives.
9. Make time to do what YOU enjoy. The law of attraction suggests we attract what we want. Do you want more time to do what you enjoy most? If so, make that time because there’s plenty of it. Don’t make excuses. Time is just an idea with numbers and a clock ticking
10. No buts. No what ifs. No can’ts. No won’ts. Nothing is “too hard” to accomplish.
11. Be real with everyone. Let’s be real: Nobody likes fake personalities. If you can’t be real, it will be extremely difficult to attract real. To be real is to be honest; to be real is to be kind, and to be real is to admit to your failures.
12. Practice what you preach; don’t be a hypocrite. Show others that if you can do something, anyone can. If you want to practice putting good into the world, then you must preach about putting good into the world.
13. Realize your imagination is very powerful. Imagine your dreams coming true. The law of attraction is all about imagining what you want and turning it into a reality. If you’re always thinking about your dreams or imagining them, you will work that much harder for them.
14. Be passionate about what interests you. Be enthusiastic to learn about what you’ve always been interested in. If you’re truly passionate about something, you will take the time to learn about it.
15. Conquer your failures. If you fail, rinse, wash, repeat. Always attract success and happiness.
16. Realize worry, stress and fear don’t matter. None of us like to worry, to be stressed out or to be terribly afraid of something. If we focus on eliminating worry, stress and fear, our lives will begin to grow happier. Embrace the unknown with wide-open arms and a heart waiting to be filled with adventure.
17. Recognize everything happens for a reason. Attract your ability to succeed, no matter what happens. Life is very mysterious, in a beautiful way.
18. Be honest; lies are worthless. If you attract the truth by always telling the truth, you will never have anything to hide. If you’re ashamed of something, admit to it. Never throw anyone under the bus, and more importantly, don’t ever blame someone else for your wrong doings. Right your wrongs and own your mistakes
19. Live as if every day is a miracle. Live like your dreams are coming true every single day. Live as if there won’t be a tomorrow. Miracles will begin to unfold all around you. There are two ways you can live: as if nothing is a miracle or as if everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein
20. Be open-minded. In order to attract what you want, you have to possess an open mind. Having an open mind gives you the ability to obtain multiple perspectives.
21. Don’t let school get in the way of your education. One of my favorite teachers used to say this all the time. In other words, school isn’t the only place you receive education; you also learn it from living life.
22. Learn from EVERYONE. Not only do we learn from our experiences, it’s also important to realize we can learn something from everyone. We all have something to learn or teach one another. This is pure evidence for why we are ALL capable of anything.
23. See the best in people. If we see the best in others, they will most likely see the best in us, hence the law of attraction. Start out by giving someone the benefit of the doubt. If he or she ends up disappointing you, cross that bridge when you get to it.
24. Believe in abundance and freedom. Along with freedom comes abundance. By achieving freedom, I don’t mean having all the money in the world to do whatever you please. Set yourself free and help others to be set free by simply appreciating life and the abundance it brings.
25. Focus on your needs vs. wants. Attract what you need and your wants will begin to prosper. If we don’t dial in on our needs first, we won’t be able to understand the importance of them. Our needs are needs. The wants will come along when they’re meant to.
26. Don’t get caught up in the idea that money buys happiness. Money buys material things. Money can’t buy passion or love. Money can’t buy ambition or success. Money can’t buy dreams or purpose or meaning to life.
If all I had was a penny left in my pocket and someone needed it, I would give it up in a heartbeat.
27. Remember, there’s always room to improve. Nobody is perfect in this world. You may not be born as a prodigy or born with the talent you wish you could have, but if you practice, you learn. Why not gain the knowledge about everything that interests you and then improve on what matters most?
28. Don’t give up. Ever. Never. Period.
29. Be patient. Patience is a virtue. I always dream about achieving my goals in the fast lane, but sometimes, it doesn’t work out that way. We just have to go with the flow.
30. Inspire others; motivate them. Aspire to inspire. With your ambition and enthusiasm, motivate others.
Show others that life is all about the adventure and the journey. Through our imagination is how our dreams spiral out of control and into control. Once they’re in control, seize each and every day as if it were your last.
Captivate what you dream of and don’t ever settle for less.
The law of attraction is a very insightful law by which to live. In other words, your ability to become intuitive will skyrocket if you attract what you want in life, especially what you dream of.
Do you dream of traveling the world? Do you dream of writing a book? Do you dream of opening up your very own business?
Everyone has unique dreams that differ from one another, but whatever that dream may be, it’s completely possible. Spread your wings. Search for your purpose and freedom in this life. Most importantly, be as real as they come. Demonstrate to others that life isn’t all that tough if we come to understand how lucky we are to be alive in this beautiful world, where miracles take place every day.
All it takes is grasping on to our fullest potential to do what we love, holding it closely and never letting it go.
Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves, they’re gonna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period. – Will Smith, “Pursuit of Happyness”
Here are 30 ways to help you attract what you truly dream of in life:
1. Be positive. Walk around with the most positive attitude possible, so positive people don’t know what to think. When you speak, do it with good intentions. Attract positive thoughts no matter what you’re going through. The more positivity you have in your life, the less negativity exists.
2. Be grateful; appreciate everything. There’s nothing in this world we shouldn’t be grateful for. Be grateful for your family. Be grateful for your friends. Be grateful for a home. Be grateful for food to eat. Be grateful for adventure.
Some people aren’t fortunate enough to have any of these things. Some of us start with absolutely nothing. Don’t take anything for granted.
3. Believe in your own dreams. Attract what you dream of because once your dreams come true, life turns into an endless miracle. Anything and everything you need or want is out there. Just believe you, without question, have what it takes.
4. Follow your intuition. You are the only one who has control over what goes on in your mind. If something feels so right, it’s probably something you should do. If you have urges, listen to them carefully. In a sense, be willing to let your intuition guide you.
5. Follow your heart with courage. The law of attraction has everything to do with following your heart. Even if following your heart leads to heartache, meet heartache with courage. Courage gives you strength. Don’t let the influence of others bring you down. Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed and don’t forget to support them during their journeys, as well.
6. Listen to your gut instinct. We’ve always been told our gut instinct is usually right. Whether it’s right or wrong, our gut can usually sense something is a little wobbly. Pay attention to this feeling and be mindful of it. There are very greedy people in this world, which is why it’s important to always be on our toe.
7. Give to others and help others. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. We’ve all heard this statement, haven’t we? Attract to yourself the way you want to be treated by equally treating others with kindness. It creates a world filled with virtuous karma.
8. Travel to be inspired on a whole new level.Traveling is hands-down one of my top and most important priorities in life. Every time I travel, I am immensely exposed to a whole different part of the world I previously knew nothing about. When we see new places, we gain new perspectives and new perspectives are always a wonderful addition to the way we live our lives.
9. Make time to do what YOU enjoy. The law of attraction suggests we attract what we want. Do you want more time to do what you enjoy most? If so, make that time because there’s plenty of it. Don’t make excuses. Time is just an idea with numbers and a clock ticking
10. No buts. No what ifs. No can’ts. No won’ts. Nothing is “too hard” to accomplish.
11. Be real with everyone. Let’s be real: Nobody likes fake personalities. If you can’t be real, it will be extremely difficult to attract real. To be real is to be honest; to be real is to be kind, and to be real is to admit to your failures.
12. Practice what you preach; don’t be a hypocrite. Show others that if you can do something, anyone can. If you want to practice putting good into the world, then you must preach about putting good into the world.
13. Realize your imagination is very powerful. Imagine your dreams coming true. The law of attraction is all about imagining what you want and turning it into a reality. If you’re always thinking about your dreams or imagining them, you will work that much harder for them.
14. Be passionate about what interests you. Be enthusiastic to learn about what you’ve always been interested in. If you’re truly passionate about something, you will take the time to learn about it.
15. Conquer your failures. If you fail, rinse, wash, repeat. Always attract success and happiness.
16. Realize worry, stress and fear don’t matter. None of us like to worry, to be stressed out or to be terribly afraid of something. If we focus on eliminating worry, stress and fear, our lives will begin to grow happier. Embrace the unknown with wide-open arms and a heart waiting to be filled with adventure.
17. Recognize everything happens for a reason. Attract your ability to succeed, no matter what happens. Life is very mysterious, in a beautiful way.
18. Be honest; lies are worthless. If you attract the truth by always telling the truth, you will never have anything to hide. If you’re ashamed of something, admit to it. Never throw anyone under the bus, and more importantly, don’t ever blame someone else for your wrong doings. Right your wrongs and own your mistakes
19. Live as if every day is a miracle. Live like your dreams are coming true every single day. Live as if there won’t be a tomorrow. Miracles will begin to unfold all around you. There are two ways you can live: as if nothing is a miracle or as if everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein
20. Be open-minded. In order to attract what you want, you have to possess an open mind. Having an open mind gives you the ability to obtain multiple perspectives.
21. Don’t let school get in the way of your education. One of my favorite teachers used to say this all the time. In other words, school isn’t the only place you receive education; you also learn it from living life.
22. Learn from EVERYONE. Not only do we learn from our experiences, it’s also important to realize we can learn something from everyone. We all have something to learn or teach one another. This is pure evidence for why we are ALL capable of anything.
23. See the best in people. If we see the best in others, they will most likely see the best in us, hence the law of attraction. Start out by giving someone the benefit of the doubt. If he or she ends up disappointing you, cross that bridge when you get to it.
24. Believe in abundance and freedom. Along with freedom comes abundance. By achieving freedom, I don’t mean having all the money in the world to do whatever you please. Set yourself free and help others to be set free by simply appreciating life and the abundance it brings.
25. Focus on your needs vs. wants. Attract what you need and your wants will begin to prosper. If we don’t dial in on our needs first, we won’t be able to understand the importance of them. Our needs are needs. The wants will come along when they’re meant to.
26. Don’t get caught up in the idea that money buys happiness. Money buys material things. Money can’t buy passion or love. Money can’t buy ambition or success. Money can’t buy dreams or purpose or meaning to life.
If all I had was a penny left in my pocket and someone needed it, I would give it up in a heartbeat.
27. Remember, there’s always room to improve. Nobody is perfect in this world. You may not be born as a prodigy or born with the talent you wish you could have, but if you practice, you learn. Why not gain the knowledge about everything that interests you and then improve on what matters most?
28. Don’t give up. Ever. Never. Period.
29. Be patient. Patience is a virtue. I always dream about achieving my goals in the fast lane, but sometimes, it doesn’t work out that way. We just have to go with the flow.
30. Inspire others; motivate them. Aspire to inspire. With your ambition and enthusiasm, motivate others.
Show others that life is all about the adventure and the journey. Through our imagination is how our dreams spiral out of control and into control. Once they’re in control, seize each and every day as if it were your last.
Captivate what you dream of and don’t ever settle for less.
Sunday, 1 February 2015
How your behaviour in restaurant show your character
The way they interact with a server
How a person treats a server can tell you a lot. If they’re polite and treat the wait staff with respect, you can intuit that person is likely to be a good manager and not someone who gets hung up on hierarchy. You can also glimpse their ability to be collaborative. If they’re haughty, aloof or overbearing, that could prevent strong relationships with peers or cross-functional partners. Conversely, being friendly, personable or appropriately chatty are strong signals that this person may have the ability to win the admiration of people at all job levels - a valuable skill in any large global organization.
The way they order their meal.
If someone hems and haws over something as simple as how their two eggs should be cooked, they may also have a hard time making important decisions at work. It’s important to be able to make decisions with both speed and quality in the fast-paced business world. So, if someone is unable to decide between the Caesar salad and the fish tacos, they’re likely to struggle prioritizing during, say, budget allocations. If they ask for lots of substitutions to one of the chef’s creations, you may be uncovering some high-maintenance tendencies (unless, of course, they have food allergies) or you may be on the verge of hiring someone who wants to play by their own rules.
Their manners.
Do they show up on time? Do they use a napkin and chew with their mouth closed? If you are picking up the tab (which you should be if they’re interviewing for a role at your company), do they say “thank you” to you at the end of the meal? Just like your mom always said, manners are part of common courtesy and showing respect to others. If your applicant seems anything but pleasant and not like “the kind of person you want to go have a drink with,” you may want to think again before making that offer. Basic manners are not skills that will suddenly develop in the weeks before that person starts working on your team.
Of course, none of these observations should be considered in a vacuum. It may be the case that some potential employees just need some training and coaching. But if you’re hiring for a senior leader on your team, remember that ingrained habits are hard to break. And whatever behaviors you spot during breakfast or lunch are quite likely to pop up again in other settings. Trust your gut. If you have any hesitation about your lunch mate during an informal meal, don’t chalk it up to their nerves. It’s likely a sign that you shouldn’t hire them.
Monday, 26 January 2015
Saturday, 24 January 2015
The burden of attachments
Why do the people suffer in life? It´s not the outside circumstances, which hurt us. We hurt ourselves, just by being attached to many things, values and people. Your freedom begins in your inner world, and only then, no outside events can take it from you. Learn to let go, and to respect the natural flow of things and events around you, and you will become victorious in the whole life.
The basic problem is, that we expect too many things from the world. And any expectation means attachment. But the outside world can´t be controlled by us, and if we pray for our dreams to be fulfilled, we just confirm how weak we are, how much we need other things or people for our happiness and fulfillment.
For example, many of us are so emotionally hungry, we would like to share our love with somebody special, and when we successfully meet someone special, who seems beneficial and useful for improving the overall quality of our life, we are immediately caught in the net of dangerous expectations. Then, we begin to be emotionally dependent on other people. But we can´t control them, and we take their freedom with this approach. The nature doesn´t like this behavior, so she often punishes us by disappointment, when that people fail in our high expectations.
That other people don´t spoil our relationships - we do. Not outside circumstances and events hurt us - we do it ourselves, just by this questionable and unsustainable approach.
The key to happiness, inner peace and fulfilled relationships is to be able to let go your dreams and all things you were holding so tight, and you were scared to lose them. You fought desperately with the world, so that they won´t leave you, you wanted to stay them forever, to please you, ease your eternal hunger and your foiled hopes, that you lost long time ago, when someone or something hurt you.
The happiness is in our hands, not in the quality of the matters outside. Just let go everything you were so strongly attached to, and you will become the master of your life, who is able to fully control his or her emotions, because you will be independent on the world outside. Only then, your feelings can be stable, only then your disciline will hold and your personal and professional goals can be fulfilled. Otherwise, you will spend your life just waiting for something that will possibly never come, and your lonely nights will be full of tears and regrets.
Fill youself with acceptance of the world exactly as it really is... and then, no alleged loss of things, people or theoretical opportunities will hurt you.
And then, you will be free, no matter what will happen around you. You will be the person who will survive all trembles and changes. Just accept them, and let go all that old inside you. You pampered your nice memories of things and people you thought you once had, but this attachment was hurting you long after they were gone, because losses are the basic part of our life, and no matter how tightly you will try to hold your world together, it will run away from you anyway. And you just exhaust you inner power, and even love inside you.
Remember, our only mission here in life is to be happy. But it is our full responsibility to achieve this status, and nobody else can accomplish this crucial goal instead of us.
Just let go, forget, be content and open your mind to the present moment... only it matters for achieving the happiness.by. Alan svejk
The basic problem is, that we expect too many things from the world. And any expectation means attachment. But the outside world can´t be controlled by us, and if we pray for our dreams to be fulfilled, we just confirm how weak we are, how much we need other things or people for our happiness and fulfillment.
For example, many of us are so emotionally hungry, we would like to share our love with somebody special, and when we successfully meet someone special, who seems beneficial and useful for improving the overall quality of our life, we are immediately caught in the net of dangerous expectations. Then, we begin to be emotionally dependent on other people. But we can´t control them, and we take their freedom with this approach. The nature doesn´t like this behavior, so she often punishes us by disappointment, when that people fail in our high expectations.
That other people don´t spoil our relationships - we do. Not outside circumstances and events hurt us - we do it ourselves, just by this questionable and unsustainable approach.
The key to happiness, inner peace and fulfilled relationships is to be able to let go your dreams and all things you were holding so tight, and you were scared to lose them. You fought desperately with the world, so that they won´t leave you, you wanted to stay them forever, to please you, ease your eternal hunger and your foiled hopes, that you lost long time ago, when someone or something hurt you.
The happiness is in our hands, not in the quality of the matters outside. Just let go everything you were so strongly attached to, and you will become the master of your life, who is able to fully control his or her emotions, because you will be independent on the world outside. Only then, your feelings can be stable, only then your disciline will hold and your personal and professional goals can be fulfilled. Otherwise, you will spend your life just waiting for something that will possibly never come, and your lonely nights will be full of tears and regrets.
Fill youself with acceptance of the world exactly as it really is... and then, no alleged loss of things, people or theoretical opportunities will hurt you.
And then, you will be free, no matter what will happen around you. You will be the person who will survive all trembles and changes. Just accept them, and let go all that old inside you. You pampered your nice memories of things and people you thought you once had, but this attachment was hurting you long after they were gone, because losses are the basic part of our life, and no matter how tightly you will try to hold your world together, it will run away from you anyway. And you just exhaust you inner power, and even love inside you.
Remember, our only mission here in life is to be happy. But it is our full responsibility to achieve this status, and nobody else can accomplish this crucial goal instead of us.
Just let go, forget, be content and open your mind to the present moment... only it matters for achieving the happiness.by. Alan svejk
Monday, 15 December 2014
Thursday, 4 December 2014
invest in people
"True leaders don't invest in buildings. Jesus
never built a building. They invest in people.
Why? Because success without a successor is
failure. So your legacy should not be in
buildings, programs, or projects, your legacy
must be in people," said Munroe.
never built a building. They invest in people.
Why? Because success without a successor is
failure. So your legacy should not be in
buildings, programs, or projects, your legacy
must be in people," said Munroe.
Saturday, 29 November 2014
10 forgotten points during hard times
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
–Friedrich Nietzsche
The wisest, most loving, and well rounded people
you have ever met are likely those who have
known misery, known defeat, known the heartbreak
of losing something or someone they loved, and
have found their way out of the depths of their
own despair. These people have experienced many
ups and downs, and have gained an appreciation, a
sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills
them with compassion, understanding and a deep
loving wisdom. People like this aren’t born; they
develop slowly over the course of time.
Truth be told, when hard times hit, and the
challenges you face are great, you can either let
your situation define you, let it destroy you or let it
strengthen you. The choice is yours to make.
In today’s article I want to remind you of a few
powerful, yet easily forgotten truths that will help
you choose wisely and grow stronger even through
the hardest times…
1. Pain is part of life and love, and it helps you
grow.
So many of us are afraid of ourselves, of our own
truth, and our feelings most of all. We talk about
how great the concepts of life and love are, but
then we hide from both every day. We hide from
our truest feelings. Because the truth is life and
love hurt sometimes, and the feelings this brings
disturbs us.
We are taught at an early age that all pain is evil
and harmful. Yet, how can we ever deal with real
life and true love if we’re afraid to feel what we
really feel? We need to feel pain, just as we need
to feel alive and loved. Pain is meant to wake us
up. Yet we try to hide our pain. Realize this. Pain
is something to carry willingly, just like good
sense. Because you can only learn how strong you
are when being strong is the only choice you have.
It’s all in how you carry the things that don’t go
your way. That’s what matters in the end. Pain is
a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you – your
own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide
them, you’re letting the lies of insecurity destroy
your reality. You should stand up for your right to
feel pain – to endure it – to own your scars – to
deal with the realities of life and love, as you grow
into the strongest, wisest, truest version of
yourself.
2. Mindset is half the battle.
It’s okay to have down days and tough times.
Expecting life to be wonderful all the time is
wanting to swim in an ocean in which waves only
rise up and never come crashing down. However,
when you recognize that the rising and crashing
waves are part of the exact same ocean, you are
able to let go and be at peace with the reality of
these ups and downs. It becomes clear that life’s
ups require life’s downs.
In other words, life isn’t perfect, but it sure is
good. Our goal shouldn’t be to create a perfect life,
but to live an imperfect life in radical amazement.
To get up every morning and take a good look
around in a way that takes nothing for granted.
Everything is extraordinary. Every day is a gift.
Never treat life casually. To be spiritual in any way
is to be amazed in every way.
Do not let the pain of a situation make you
hopeless. Do not let negativity wear off on you. Do
not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Even
though others may disagree with you, take pride in
the fact that you still know the world to be a
beautiful place. Change your thoughts and you
change your reality.
And mindset is especially powerful when it comes
to accepting that…
3. Your biggest fears don’t really exist.
When times are hard it can be difficult to follow
your heart and take another step, but it’s a tragedy
to let the lies of fear stop you. Although fear can
feel overwhelming, and defeats more people than
any other force in the world, it’s not as powerful
as it seems. Fear is only as deep as your mind
allows. You are still in control. So take control!
The key is to acknowledge your fear and directly
address it. Fight hard to shine the light of your
words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear
becomes a wordless, obscure darkness that you
avoid, and perhaps even manage to briefly forget,
you open yourself to future attacks from fear when
you least expect it. Because you never truly faced
the opponent who defeated you.
You CAN beat fear if you face it. Be courageous!
And remember that courage doesn’t mean you
don’t get afraid; courage means you don’t let fear
stop you from moving forward with your life.
(Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the
“Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy,
Successful People Do Differently.)
4. You are growing through experience.
Over time you will find that life isn’t necessarily
any easier or harder than you thought it was going
to be; it’s just that the easy and the hard aren’t
exactly the way you had anticipated, and don’t
always occur when you expect them to. This isn’t
a bad thing; it makes life interesting. With a
positive attitude you will always be pleasantly
surprised.
When you stop expecting things to be a certain
way, you can appreciate them for what they are.
Ultimately you will realize that life’s greatest gifts
are rarely wrapped the way you expected.
Experience is what you get when your plans don’t
go as planned, and experience is the most valuable
commodity you own – it builds your strength.
You have the power to turn your wounds and
worries into wisdom; you just have to do
something about them. You have to accept what
has happened and use what you’ve learned to step
forward. Everything you’ve experienced has given
you the upper hand for dealing with everything you
have yet to experience. Realize this and set
yourself free.
5. You can’t change situations you don’t take
responsibility for.
Sigmund Freud once said, “Most people do not
really want freedom, because freedom involves
responsibility, and most people are frightened of
responsibility.” Don’t let this be you. When you
blame others for what you’re going through, you
deny responsibility – you surrender power over that
part of your life.
Make no mistake, in the end, the price of happiness
IS responsibility. As soon as you stop making
everyone and everything else responsible for your
happiness, the happier you’ll be. If you’re unhappy
now, it’s not someone else’s fault.
Ultimately, your happiness depends on your self-
reliance – your unshakable willingness to take
responsibility for your life from this moment
forward, regardless of who had a hand in making it
the way it is now. It’s about taking control of your
present circumstances, thinking for yourself, and
making a firm choice to choose differently. It’s
about being the hero of your life, not the victim.
6. The present is all you really have to deal with.
Life is not lived in some distant, imagined land of
someday where everything is perfect. It is lived
here and now, with the reality of the way things
are. Yes, by all means you can work toward an
idealized tomorrow. Yet to do so, you must
successfully deal with the world as it is today.
Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we
are because we have developed a belief, based on
past experiences, that it is not where we should be
or want to be. But the truth is, where you are now
is exactly where you need to be to get to where
you want to go tomorrow. So appreciate where you
are.
Your friends and family are too beautiful to ignore.
Take a moment to remember how fortunate you
are to be breathing. Take a look around, with your
eyes earnestly open to the possibilities before you.
Much of what you fear does not exist. Much of
what you love is closer than you realize. You are
just one brief thought away from understanding the
blessing that is your life.
Happiness is a mindset that can only be designed
into the present. It’s not a point in the future or a
moment from the past; yet sadly, this
misconception hurts the masses. So many young
people seem to think all their happiness awaits
them in the years ahead, while so many older
people believe their best moments are behind
them. Don’t be either of them. Don’t let the past
and the future steal your present. (Read The Power
of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.)
7. There is always, always, always something to
be thankful for.
Life is better when you’re smiling. Being positive in
a negative situation is not naive; it’s a sign of
leadership and strength. You’re doing it right when
you have so much to cry and complain about, but
you prefer to smile and appreciate your life
instead.
What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things
you were thankful for today?
Think of all the beauty that remains around you,
see it and smile. Be thankful for all the small
things in your life, because when you put them all
together you will see just how significant they are.
At the end of the day, it’s not happiness that
makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us
happy.
8. Great things take time.
Instant results are rarely the best results. With
patience, you can greatly expand your potential. If
your desires were always fulfilled immediately, you
would have nothing to look forward to. You would
miss out on the joys of anticipation and progress.
Remember, patience is not about waiting; it’s the
ability to keep a good attitude while working hard
for what you believe in. It’s the willingness to stay
focused, confidently staking one small step at a
time, knowing that the way you move a mountain
is by moving one stone at a time. Every stone you
move, no matter how small, is progress.
Bottom line: You deserve more than mere instant
gratification. Value that arrives in an instant is
often gone in an instant. Value that takes time and
commitment to create often outlives its creator –
YOU.
9. Other people cannot validate you.
When we’re struggling to achieve something
important, sometimes we look to others to validate
our progress. But the truth is, they can’t…
You are not in this world to live up to the
expectations of others, nor should you feel that
others are here to live up to yours. Pave your own
unique path. What success means to each of us is
totally different. Success is ultimately about
spending your life happily in your own way.
You don’t have to be flashy to be impressive. You
don’t have to be famous to be significant. You
don’t have to be a celebrity to be successful. You
don’t need to be validated by anyone else. You are
already valuable. You just need to believe in
yourself and what you wish to achieve.
You can be quietly humble and still be amazingly
effective. Just because people don’t fall at your
feet and worship you, doesn’t mean you are a
failure. Quiet success is just as sweet as loud,
flamboyant success, and usually far more real.
Success is how you define it, not what everyone
else says it must be for you. (Read The Gifts of
Imperfection.)
10. You are not alone.
In the midst of hard times, it’s easy to look around
and see a bunch of people who seem to be doing
just fine. But they’re not. We’re all struggling in
our own way. And if we could just be brave enough
to open up about it, and talk to each other, we’d
realize that we are not alone in feeling lost and
alone.
So many of us are fighting the same exact battle
alongside you. We are all in this together. So no
matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about
your own situation, know that there are others out
there experiencing the same emotions. When you
hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it’s just your
worried mind trying to sell you a lie. There’s
always someone who can relate to you. Perhaps
you can’t immediately talk to them, but they are
out there.
If you’re feeling desperate right now, hear me: I
often feel and think and struggle much like you do.
I care about many of the things you care about,
just in my own way. And although some people do
not understand us, we understand each other. YOU
are not alone!
Afterthoughts
One of life’s greatest gifts is the fact that life is
difficult. Because in dealing with life’s difficulties,
we build invaluable strength. This strength enables
us to successfully fulfill our deepest, most
meaningful purposes. It is precisely because life is
difficult that we are able to make it great. It is
because life is difficult that we are able to rise
above the difficulties. We are able to make a
difference and we are able to truly matter.
So remember this…
When times are tough, you must be tougher. Don’t
pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to
endure a tough one that leads to greatness.
–Friedrich Nietzsche
The wisest, most loving, and well rounded people
you have ever met are likely those who have
known misery, known defeat, known the heartbreak
of losing something or someone they loved, and
have found their way out of the depths of their
own despair. These people have experienced many
ups and downs, and have gained an appreciation, a
sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills
them with compassion, understanding and a deep
loving wisdom. People like this aren’t born; they
develop slowly over the course of time.
Truth be told, when hard times hit, and the
challenges you face are great, you can either let
your situation define you, let it destroy you or let it
strengthen you. The choice is yours to make.
In today’s article I want to remind you of a few
powerful, yet easily forgotten truths that will help
you choose wisely and grow stronger even through
the hardest times…
1. Pain is part of life and love, and it helps you
grow.
So many of us are afraid of ourselves, of our own
truth, and our feelings most of all. We talk about
how great the concepts of life and love are, but
then we hide from both every day. We hide from
our truest feelings. Because the truth is life and
love hurt sometimes, and the feelings this brings
disturbs us.
We are taught at an early age that all pain is evil
and harmful. Yet, how can we ever deal with real
life and true love if we’re afraid to feel what we
really feel? We need to feel pain, just as we need
to feel alive and loved. Pain is meant to wake us
up. Yet we try to hide our pain. Realize this. Pain
is something to carry willingly, just like good
sense. Because you can only learn how strong you
are when being strong is the only choice you have.
It’s all in how you carry the things that don’t go
your way. That’s what matters in the end. Pain is
a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you – your
own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide
them, you’re letting the lies of insecurity destroy
your reality. You should stand up for your right to
feel pain – to endure it – to own your scars – to
deal with the realities of life and love, as you grow
into the strongest, wisest, truest version of
yourself.
2. Mindset is half the battle.
It’s okay to have down days and tough times.
Expecting life to be wonderful all the time is
wanting to swim in an ocean in which waves only
rise up and never come crashing down. However,
when you recognize that the rising and crashing
waves are part of the exact same ocean, you are
able to let go and be at peace with the reality of
these ups and downs. It becomes clear that life’s
ups require life’s downs.
In other words, life isn’t perfect, but it sure is
good. Our goal shouldn’t be to create a perfect life,
but to live an imperfect life in radical amazement.
To get up every morning and take a good look
around in a way that takes nothing for granted.
Everything is extraordinary. Every day is a gift.
Never treat life casually. To be spiritual in any way
is to be amazed in every way.
Do not let the pain of a situation make you
hopeless. Do not let negativity wear off on you. Do
not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Even
though others may disagree with you, take pride in
the fact that you still know the world to be a
beautiful place. Change your thoughts and you
change your reality.
And mindset is especially powerful when it comes
to accepting that…
3. Your biggest fears don’t really exist.
When times are hard it can be difficult to follow
your heart and take another step, but it’s a tragedy
to let the lies of fear stop you. Although fear can
feel overwhelming, and defeats more people than
any other force in the world, it’s not as powerful
as it seems. Fear is only as deep as your mind
allows. You are still in control. So take control!
The key is to acknowledge your fear and directly
address it. Fight hard to shine the light of your
words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear
becomes a wordless, obscure darkness that you
avoid, and perhaps even manage to briefly forget,
you open yourself to future attacks from fear when
you least expect it. Because you never truly faced
the opponent who defeated you.
You CAN beat fear if you face it. Be courageous!
And remember that courage doesn’t mean you
don’t get afraid; courage means you don’t let fear
stop you from moving forward with your life.
(Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the
“Adversity” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy,
Successful People Do Differently.)
4. You are growing through experience.
Over time you will find that life isn’t necessarily
any easier or harder than you thought it was going
to be; it’s just that the easy and the hard aren’t
exactly the way you had anticipated, and don’t
always occur when you expect them to. This isn’t
a bad thing; it makes life interesting. With a
positive attitude you will always be pleasantly
surprised.
When you stop expecting things to be a certain
way, you can appreciate them for what they are.
Ultimately you will realize that life’s greatest gifts
are rarely wrapped the way you expected.
Experience is what you get when your plans don’t
go as planned, and experience is the most valuable
commodity you own – it builds your strength.
You have the power to turn your wounds and
worries into wisdom; you just have to do
something about them. You have to accept what
has happened and use what you’ve learned to step
forward. Everything you’ve experienced has given
you the upper hand for dealing with everything you
have yet to experience. Realize this and set
yourself free.
5. You can’t change situations you don’t take
responsibility for.
Sigmund Freud once said, “Most people do not
really want freedom, because freedom involves
responsibility, and most people are frightened of
responsibility.” Don’t let this be you. When you
blame others for what you’re going through, you
deny responsibility – you surrender power over that
part of your life.
Make no mistake, in the end, the price of happiness
IS responsibility. As soon as you stop making
everyone and everything else responsible for your
happiness, the happier you’ll be. If you’re unhappy
now, it’s not someone else’s fault.
Ultimately, your happiness depends on your self-
reliance – your unshakable willingness to take
responsibility for your life from this moment
forward, regardless of who had a hand in making it
the way it is now. It’s about taking control of your
present circumstances, thinking for yourself, and
making a firm choice to choose differently. It’s
about being the hero of your life, not the victim.
6. The present is all you really have to deal with.
Life is not lived in some distant, imagined land of
someday where everything is perfect. It is lived
here and now, with the reality of the way things
are. Yes, by all means you can work toward an
idealized tomorrow. Yet to do so, you must
successfully deal with the world as it is today.
Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we
are because we have developed a belief, based on
past experiences, that it is not where we should be
or want to be. But the truth is, where you are now
is exactly where you need to be to get to where
you want to go tomorrow. So appreciate where you
are.
Your friends and family are too beautiful to ignore.
Take a moment to remember how fortunate you
are to be breathing. Take a look around, with your
eyes earnestly open to the possibilities before you.
Much of what you fear does not exist. Much of
what you love is closer than you realize. You are
just one brief thought away from understanding the
blessing that is your life.
Happiness is a mindset that can only be designed
into the present. It’s not a point in the future or a
moment from the past; yet sadly, this
misconception hurts the masses. So many young
people seem to think all their happiness awaits
them in the years ahead, while so many older
people believe their best moments are behind
them. Don’t be either of them. Don’t let the past
and the future steal your present. (Read The Power
of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment.)
7. There is always, always, always something to
be thankful for.
Life is better when you’re smiling. Being positive in
a negative situation is not naive; it’s a sign of
leadership and strength. You’re doing it right when
you have so much to cry and complain about, but
you prefer to smile and appreciate your life
instead.
What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things
you were thankful for today?
Think of all the beauty that remains around you,
see it and smile. Be thankful for all the small
things in your life, because when you put them all
together you will see just how significant they are.
At the end of the day, it’s not happiness that
makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us
happy.
8. Great things take time.
Instant results are rarely the best results. With
patience, you can greatly expand your potential. If
your desires were always fulfilled immediately, you
would have nothing to look forward to. You would
miss out on the joys of anticipation and progress.
Remember, patience is not about waiting; it’s the
ability to keep a good attitude while working hard
for what you believe in. It’s the willingness to stay
focused, confidently staking one small step at a
time, knowing that the way you move a mountain
is by moving one stone at a time. Every stone you
move, no matter how small, is progress.
Bottom line: You deserve more than mere instant
gratification. Value that arrives in an instant is
often gone in an instant. Value that takes time and
commitment to create often outlives its creator –
YOU.
9. Other people cannot validate you.
When we’re struggling to achieve something
important, sometimes we look to others to validate
our progress. But the truth is, they can’t…
You are not in this world to live up to the
expectations of others, nor should you feel that
others are here to live up to yours. Pave your own
unique path. What success means to each of us is
totally different. Success is ultimately about
spending your life happily in your own way.
You don’t have to be flashy to be impressive. You
don’t have to be famous to be significant. You
don’t have to be a celebrity to be successful. You
don’t need to be validated by anyone else. You are
already valuable. You just need to believe in
yourself and what you wish to achieve.
You can be quietly humble and still be amazingly
effective. Just because people don’t fall at your
feet and worship you, doesn’t mean you are a
failure. Quiet success is just as sweet as loud,
flamboyant success, and usually far more real.
Success is how you define it, not what everyone
else says it must be for you. (Read The Gifts of
Imperfection.)
10. You are not alone.
In the midst of hard times, it’s easy to look around
and see a bunch of people who seem to be doing
just fine. But they’re not. We’re all struggling in
our own way. And if we could just be brave enough
to open up about it, and talk to each other, we’d
realize that we are not alone in feeling lost and
alone.
So many of us are fighting the same exact battle
alongside you. We are all in this together. So no
matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about
your own situation, know that there are others out
there experiencing the same emotions. When you
hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it’s just your
worried mind trying to sell you a lie. There’s
always someone who can relate to you. Perhaps
you can’t immediately talk to them, but they are
out there.
If you’re feeling desperate right now, hear me: I
often feel and think and struggle much like you do.
I care about many of the things you care about,
just in my own way. And although some people do
not understand us, we understand each other. YOU
are not alone!
Afterthoughts
One of life’s greatest gifts is the fact that life is
difficult. Because in dealing with life’s difficulties,
we build invaluable strength. This strength enables
us to successfully fulfill our deepest, most
meaningful purposes. It is precisely because life is
difficult that we are able to make it great. It is
because life is difficult that we are able to rise
above the difficulties. We are able to make a
difference and we are able to truly matter.
So remember this…
When times are tough, you must be tougher. Don’t
pray for an easy life; pray for the strength to
endure a tough one that leads to greatness.
Friday, 21 November 2014
COWS IN OUR MINDS
Since this is considered “throwback Thursday” I
wanted to revisit some of my previous work as a
writer. I came across this piece which happens to
be one of my favorites. I wrote it in 2008 while
pursuing my doctorate in Christian Counseling.
Although it is considered a “throwback” or “retro”
piece, I believe many of the points are still relevant
today. I have revised and condensed it a bit but I
hope you enjoy it:
Maybe some of you are already questioning this
particular topic, but I want you to be informed
there are some spaces in our mind that are difficult
to explain. Do you agree? God works through many
avenues to reveal specific things about ourselves
and I found a very interesting concept found in one
of my clinical books on the topic of Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorders.
The concept is called “Ruminative Thoughts
Related to Unattainable Goals.” It states, “when an
“undesirable experience” blocks a goal, this goal
will then dominate the person’s thoughts content
until disengagement has taken places; thus,
rumination is considered to be motivationally
driven until individuals either satisfy a blocked or
frustrated goal or disengage themselves from this
goal.”
In other words, to end ruminative thoughts one
must disengage from the thoughts or learn to
substitute them. Additionally, this statement
suggests after an individual experiences something
undesirable their minds will become dominated by
ruminative thoughts. For example, if you have
experienced some type of failure in your life, your
mind becomes motivationally driven to think of
ways to disengage from the failure (unattainable
goal) until you are satisfied.
Personally, when I read this it allowed me to think
about my unattainable goals and how I continued
to ruminate about certain situations when they
were unfulfilled. The word rumination means “to
think carefully and at length about something.” It
is also defined as “to regurgitate partially digested
food and chew it again.” I know it sounds a bit
crass, but did you know that cows digest their food
in this manner?
My Granny use to own a field of cows. I can
remember seeing them after a good graze. As they
consumed their food I wondered why they would
chew for (what it seemed like) days on the same
piece without even taking another chunk of grass! I
was amazed at their process of regurgitation.
In the same manner these cows regurgitated their
food, isn’t it strange that we could also be ‘cows
in our minds?’ Don’t we allow our thoughts to
ruminate over and over again about certain
undesirable situations? And how often are we
consumed with negative thoughts only to
regurgitate them over and over again? Somehow
we become fixated on the various reasons why our
plans failed or why our goals were unattained.
I know some of those ‘cow like’ thoughts I have
experienced were my attempts to think of ways I
could have done things better or how I could have
prevented it from happening. Then all the
statements flood in with the following: “If I…,” “I
should have….,” “Well, I would have…,” and not to
mention “I could have!”
On the other hand, I must remind you, sometimes
our “unattainable goals” are losses beyond our
control. Sometimes there is a shift in the job
market, we may lose loved ones, a friendship may
come to an end, or our dreams may die. Usually
during any loss we make attempts to “substitute” it
with something ‘supposedly’ better, when in
essence we are only attempting to fill a void.
Have you experienced that at some point in your
life? Trust me, I believe we all have experienced
the ‘bad food’ of life. I certainly have! Honestly, I
have experienced some things that were just hard
to digest, and in most cases even hard to swallow!
Additionally, our traumas or pains can cause our
minds to conform to the behaviors of our pains. It
can even cause us to damage others the way we
have been damaged if we are not careful.
Personally, I have fought hard to disengage myself
from negative thoughts and behaviors. I have tried
to disengage myself from them, substitute them,
block them, and frustrate them. Personally, I have
been frustrated! Can you relate?
Thank goodness there is hope! First, since we are
talking about cows let us reflect on the nature of
cows. They are earthly creatures who operate
through their worldly senses (feel, touch, see,
taste, and smell). They were created to graze,
produce milk, eat their food and regurgitate; this is
part of their process. However, we are NOT
animals, and we surely aren’t cows!
To help us overcome this we need a
transformation or mindset change. I’m sure we
understand everything begins in the mind. The
good news is God understands we will experience
this level of thinking, so He has provided us with
solutions for our negative rumination. Romans 12:2
states, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern
of this world, but be transformed by the renewing
of your mind. Then you will be able to test and
approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and
perfect will” (Romans 12:2).
The fight for a positive, productive mindset
everyday can be an arduous task. We are battling
with our old thought patterns, “undesirable
experiences,” and everyday life’s challenges. Here
are some ways to combat that:
Simply put, spend time with God. Spending time
with God in prayer (communication or talking to
God ) will give you clarity through those tough
experiences. God wants to give us peace when our
minds are going haywire. Just let Him know what
you need. He will be a refuge and help. Yes, trust
Him with your “cow-like mind.” (Read Psalm 46:1)
Meditate. Until we actually ‘renew our minds’ daily
then we can expect to continue to chew on the
negative cuds of life. We must find time to
meditate on what is true. (Read Philippians 4:8,
Psalm 1: 1-3)
Believe that ALL things will work out for your good.
Whether you’ve created your own negative “cow-
like” thought process due to bad decisions or have
experienced things beyond your control, trust and
know there is a reason for it. I believe there is
purpose for everything that happens in our lives. I
know everyone will not think the same as I do, but
this has definitely helped me when I felt like a true
“cow in my mind.” (Read 8:28).
Remember, whatever has happened in your life,
instead of reaching for the grass like cows which
can be considered an earthly desire to fulfill the
voids, I encourage you to find strength to 'graze'
on the power of God. Psalm 62:2 reads, “He ALONE
is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I
will never be shaken” (Ps 62:2). I love this
scripture because when I have sought to
‘substitute’ or fill my voids it has always failed
leading me to disappointment or frustration.
However, if we can learn to trust God ALONE (and
nothing else needed) for inward stability and a
major mind renewal, we are able to do away with
the crass “cuds” of life. This provides us with
space in our minds to embark upon a new way of
thinking and ultimately experiencing a New you!
From a dear friend Bruce a life coach
Friday, 7 November 2014
FALL DOWN BUT GET BACK UP ENTHUSIASTICALLY
FALL DOWN BUT GET BACK UP ENTHUSIASTICALL
Y
Where are you in your WALK in life? Whether you
are pursuing a business venture, desiring to
reconcile a relationship, wanting to go back to
school, or desiring to move forward emotionally
from a loss I can tell you that in whatever your
pursuits may be, FALLING IS GUARANTEED! Falling
is a part of life. No matter how much we try to
dodge it, it is in fact, inevitable. What makes the
difference is how we choose to handle the fall.
Proverbs 24:16 reads, “For a just man falleth seven
times, and riseth up again…” (KJV). This passage
of scripture is the inspiration you need to pull
yourself up even if you have to hold onto to
something or someone to get your footing and
maintain your balance to take that step again.
Here are some "MINDSET" principles to help you
with your fall:
1. Your mindset will determine your rise. The
scripture doesn’t even require you to rise again
“enthusiastically,” but I can tell you now that
whatever your mindset is when you get up will
determine how you plan to proceed ahead.
2. Your mindset will also determine how you will
view your previous fall(s) and how to avoid falling
for the same reason(s) again. You may fall for the
very same reason over and over again, but one day
you will get it right because you will become
frustrated with that particular cycle of failure. That
is great news! Come to the “End of yourself” and
let change take place.
3. Whatever you choose to believe, so be it!
Proverbs 23:7 reads, “For as he thinks in his heart,
so is he” (NKJV). If you have the mindset of a
failure, then you are a failure! Its okay to work
through the process of falling because it does not
feel good, but our failures do not have to
determine the rest of our lives.
4. Someone is cheering you on! This can encourage
us and strengthen our mindset to continue moving
forward. If you feel you don't have anyone cheering
you on, I AM! You can do this! More importantly,
God has your back and will continue to give you
what you need to stand up even better and
greater! So "Yaay" to you! (Read Philippians 4:13,
Romans 8:37)
Falling is merely an opportunity to reach our
ultimate goal.
Y
Where are you in your WALK in life? Whether you
are pursuing a business venture, desiring to
reconcile a relationship, wanting to go back to
school, or desiring to move forward emotionally
from a loss I can tell you that in whatever your
pursuits may be, FALLING IS GUARANTEED! Falling
is a part of life. No matter how much we try to
dodge it, it is in fact, inevitable. What makes the
difference is how we choose to handle the fall.
Proverbs 24:16 reads, “For a just man falleth seven
times, and riseth up again…” (KJV). This passage
of scripture is the inspiration you need to pull
yourself up even if you have to hold onto to
something or someone to get your footing and
maintain your balance to take that step again.
Here are some "MINDSET" principles to help you
with your fall:
1. Your mindset will determine your rise. The
scripture doesn’t even require you to rise again
“enthusiastically,” but I can tell you now that
whatever your mindset is when you get up will
determine how you plan to proceed ahead.
2. Your mindset will also determine how you will
view your previous fall(s) and how to avoid falling
for the same reason(s) again. You may fall for the
very same reason over and over again, but one day
you will get it right because you will become
frustrated with that particular cycle of failure. That
is great news! Come to the “End of yourself” and
let change take place.
3. Whatever you choose to believe, so be it!
Proverbs 23:7 reads, “For as he thinks in his heart,
so is he” (NKJV). If you have the mindset of a
failure, then you are a failure! Its okay to work
through the process of falling because it does not
feel good, but our failures do not have to
determine the rest of our lives.
4. Someone is cheering you on! This can encourage
us and strengthen our mindset to continue moving
forward. If you feel you don't have anyone cheering
you on, I AM! You can do this! More importantly,
God has your back and will continue to give you
what you need to stand up even better and
greater! So "Yaay" to you! (Read Philippians 4:13,
Romans 8:37)
Falling is merely an opportunity to reach our
ultimate goal.
Thursday, 6 November 2014
vulnerability= hurt
Isn’t that what we see in our minds when we think of vulnerability? Trust me you’re talking to an expert that knows too much about that combination. I do mean experiential not just expert knowledge. I cannot tell you how fearful I have been to let down my guard many times. I’m sure I’ve missed out on potentially great friendships or business relationships, simply because I wouldn’t let anyone in. Something had to change within me. Can you relate?
How often do we desire the need to find just that ONE somebody who we can confide or trust in? We desire it often and truth is we need it often. However, when trusting the “wrong” person to share our deepest pains or secrets goes awry, we are left with the emotional bruising that no one can see unless we roll up our emotional sleeves to see the dark marks the experience has left on us. Here are 4 principles we can do to assure that we trust the right people to handle the very treasures of our being:
1. Pray- Ask God to show you who you can and cannot trust. You know that “feeling” you get when you get around certain people? That’s called discernment. The Holy Spirit gives us the ability to discern what or who is true or not. He will lead us into ALL truth. Discern if that person is truly a person of character. Do they talk to you about other people ALL the time? Hmm. Chances are when you’re not around; your name will roll right off their tongue as well. (Read John 16:13)
2. Ask God to Heal Your Heart- In order for us to experience trust again, we need to make sure we have healed from our past experience. You can’t allow anything “new” in your life if your “old” hurts still exist. God is a healer and will continue His healing work in your life to make those emotional bruises disappear. Continue to cast your cares and pains onto Him. (Read Luke 5:37 & 1 Peter 5:7)
3. Find a TRUSTING Person You Can Talk To- As a counselor and life coach I’m obligated to the confidentiality of my clients. Divulging any of their personal information could mean a dissolution to my career and my name. Again, pray and ask God to reveal to you who you can trust, even if it’s not a professional relationship. Trust me; God knows WHO we need and WHAT we need to hear from a SPECIFIC person. Why? It’s because your situation is special and unique, so “not just anybody will do.” Someone specific will be sent your way. Just ask! (Read Luke 11:9)
4. See Vulnerability as Something Beautiful- I know how difficult this can be, especially for women. We openly express our emotions and we need someone to understand and be patient with how we were created. We can equate vulnerability to “weakness” when in actuality it’s your strength. It is what makes you feminine, beautiful, and graceful. However, vulnerability is not just designated for women. Men need it just as much. Strong men need to find that person they can also be vulnerable with as well. It is replenishing and strengthens him every day to tackle the wars of his daily life. In conclusion, we can perceive vulnerability as something beautiful when we can learn how to trust God. (Read Psalm 62:8)
By applying these few practical principles in your life I promise it can make all the difference in the world. Just remember it is a PROCESS and your perception of vulnerability may not be something that can easily be changed overnight, but if you’re ready to Discover a #NewU you will begin to see the change in your mind that looks like this:
“VULNNERABILTY = BEAUTY & STRENGTH!”
How often do we desire the need to find just that ONE somebody who we can confide or trust in? We desire it often and truth is we need it often. However, when trusting the “wrong” person to share our deepest pains or secrets goes awry, we are left with the emotional bruising that no one can see unless we roll up our emotional sleeves to see the dark marks the experience has left on us. Here are 4 principles we can do to assure that we trust the right people to handle the very treasures of our being:
1. Pray- Ask God to show you who you can and cannot trust. You know that “feeling” you get when you get around certain people? That’s called discernment. The Holy Spirit gives us the ability to discern what or who is true or not. He will lead us into ALL truth. Discern if that person is truly a person of character. Do they talk to you about other people ALL the time? Hmm. Chances are when you’re not around; your name will roll right off their tongue as well. (Read John 16:13)
2. Ask God to Heal Your Heart- In order for us to experience trust again, we need to make sure we have healed from our past experience. You can’t allow anything “new” in your life if your “old” hurts still exist. God is a healer and will continue His healing work in your life to make those emotional bruises disappear. Continue to cast your cares and pains onto Him. (Read Luke 5:37 & 1 Peter 5:7)
3. Find a TRUSTING Person You Can Talk To- As a counselor and life coach I’m obligated to the confidentiality of my clients. Divulging any of their personal information could mean a dissolution to my career and my name. Again, pray and ask God to reveal to you who you can trust, even if it’s not a professional relationship. Trust me; God knows WHO we need and WHAT we need to hear from a SPECIFIC person. Why? It’s because your situation is special and unique, so “not just anybody will do.” Someone specific will be sent your way. Just ask! (Read Luke 11:9)
4. See Vulnerability as Something Beautiful- I know how difficult this can be, especially for women. We openly express our emotions and we need someone to understand and be patient with how we were created. We can equate vulnerability to “weakness” when in actuality it’s your strength. It is what makes you feminine, beautiful, and graceful. However, vulnerability is not just designated for women. Men need it just as much. Strong men need to find that person they can also be vulnerable with as well. It is replenishing and strengthens him every day to tackle the wars of his daily life. In conclusion, we can perceive vulnerability as something beautiful when we can learn how to trust God. (Read Psalm 62:8)
By applying these few practical principles in your life I promise it can make all the difference in the world. Just remember it is a PROCESS and your perception of vulnerability may not be something that can easily be changed overnight, but if you’re ready to Discover a #NewU you will begin to see the change in your mind that looks like this:
“VULNNERABILTY = BEAUTY & STRENGTH!”
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
Wednesday, 15 October 2014
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